Contemplations & Reflections (with Toni Matulis)
Maroon & Gold
Bloomsburg State College (PA) - March 10, 1967
Tyme & Nuesweek
The two national weekly newsmagazines--Time (3.5 million circulation) and Newsweek (2 million circulation)--are apparently making an attempt to gain an increase in circulation that will help them catch Playboy on the national charts. Last week both of them featured semi-clad and unclad forms in their lead feature articles. Newsweek, in their article on Marshal McLuhan, speaks of the "sexual come-on" in advertising; Time, in a very lengthy and at some points interesting article on Hugh Hefner (Playboy's founder--owner--editor--image--god) tries to make the point the SEX as a dirty word, and the human body as a dirty thing is just about passe in American culture, and that Playboy, which had a hand in it, may be contemplating some editorial changes to adjust to this "new" outlook. Perhaps their respective issues are meant to serve as examples of this point--or perhaps they are joining the bandwagon. I hope that the teachers who use these magazines as collateral reading in their classes can explain this to their kiddoes. Rota-a-ruck.
There Otta Be Legislation
Stoplites and turn signals are required on autos so as to avoid collisions and traffic jams and all such forms of calamities Why can’t the college pass a law to require all people on this campus to invest in a little set of stoplites and turn signals for those hectic moments when classes pass. Ever try to get past a traffic jam in the halls, or run up someone’s back when they suddenly decide, for no known reason, to stop dead? I’m sure they could come p with some sort of battery-powered device. Yup.
Chip & Jail
In Chapter 1 of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, we hear a verse: “Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks!” Yes, all we Commoneers [the “Commons” was the campus cafeteria] know this rhyme by heart—each of us has his own version. The only problem is that if you get caught, the little symbol on the handle says that you Go To Jail, you do NOT pass Go, you do NOT collect your 15 credits. How kool is it to take your next semester in Sing-Sing for chewing on a fork? There otta be a Law…
Close Up. J.B. Speaks
Chapter 26, Casino Royale, James Bond speaks: “Don’t worry, everything’s all right now.” I know that I’d find a black widow in my bed tonite if I tried to add anything to the finality of that reassuring statement from every man’s Man. So, I won’t; Jimmy Bond usually knows what he’s talking about. Mite mention, tho, that for all of you stout fans who kept Thunderball in town for sooo many weeks last year, 007’s new one (bigger’n’better en ever!) will be out shortly. It is, of course, You Only Live Twice, and, while taking place in the Orient, features Jimmy getting killed, a look at Spectre’s No. 1 kisser and Jimmy getting the finger put to the ring when he weds Kissy Susuki. Yeah man—save a place for me up in the front of the line, huh?
This must be one of the most posterific (or is it posterphonic?) elections in history. A fly can’t find a space on the wall to rest his wings. Funny thing about it is that not one of them is in itself a work of art. When you walk into the lounge, tho, and are faced with a solid canvas of colors, one can’t help but appreciate it for its abstract artistic value. It would be even more inspiring than Grand Canyon or the town park to some wayward bohemian artist. It’s a good thing the candidates don’t have to pay royalties, or certain cartoonists would be made wealthy(er) tha they already are. Maybe we could trade them: we use Peanuts and allow them to use HuskyMan. (Yeah, Go HuskyMan, Go: Eat Em up!)
Buk & Mag Rak
Ever hear of J.D. Salinger, Norman Mailer, Tennessee Williams, or Truman Capote (other than as a Party Host)? Well, gang, are ya ready for the big pitch? OK: These authors were first published in Story Magazine. Oh, you knew? Well, did ya know that Story is back? Yeah, it is—really Knew you’d be thrilled… It shall be issued quarterly beginning in April. If you’re interested in obtaining it, contact Four Winds Press, 53 West 43rd Street, NYC, NY 10036. Sounds like it may be good. Maybe you could sell them all of your used comps from Eng. 101. Mmmmmm—
The Lad-See Scrolls
In cleaning out the Bye The Way after Saturday nite’s engagement we came across the following tidbit on the back of a paper plate: “Let the wood of these legs hold up this table;/ the elbows of the world are resting on it!/ Once candles were for birthdays/ Now they are for bottles./ When can I express what I feel?/ When you can hear by unsaid words.” Most interesting, except for the fallacy in that candles were used in bottles long before they were used for birthdays.
A few simple rules have been formulated for the people who drop in to the coffee house each week. They are 1.) No campaigning or politics may go on thereabouts, 2.) no card-playing, 3.) no alcohol on the pad, and 4.) a respectable-like hush while people are performing on stage. Right-